This is our vicious attack rodent, Flopsy the Killer Death Bunny. Oh, just a harmless little bunny, you say? Don't be fooled by appearance! This is the most fowl, ill-tempered rodent you ever laid eyes on! Carrots all over the planet tremble when they hear her name!
Here is a picture of her bringing down her favorite prey - squeaky bear:
Seriously, though about the most aggressive behavior this rabbit exhibits is staring at you with a dumb look on her face. She loves to have her nose and ears rubbed, and will lay still for hours if you're willing to pet her that long. When you finally stop petting her, she assumes it is her turn to groom you for a change, so she licks you once or twice, then forcefully shoves her nose back under your hand. It's YOUR turn again!
She also engages in other typical bunny activites, such as staring at individual air molecules for hours, or psychotically tearing around the house, jumping and twisting before running up to you and cramming her nose under your hand. Flopsy also has other "cute" characteristic behaviors she loves to display - behaviors of which we were unaware at purchase time. One such behavior is affectionately known as "eating the house". Who would have guessed that rabbits are just over-grown termites? Flopsy enjoys eating walls and carpet almost as much as eating lettuce. And paper? Yipes! She can eat a book faster than you can read it. Another favorite activity is "thumping in the middle of the night for no apparent reason". Now rabbits are known to thump (and you cannot fully appreciate what I mean by "thump" until you've heard it!) for several reasons, such as "danger" or "someone moved the sofa", but Flopsy goes well beyond these normal stimuli and thumps for other reasons, such as "are you asleep yet?" or "I'm a rabbit."
Over time I have come to the realization that rabbits are far too stupid to have true brain activity. Instead, they simulate thought by reacting when random alpha particles collide with key areas of the brain, thereby providing the neurological stimulation that the brain is actually too weak to produce itself. (This same reactive behavior has sometimes been observed in humans, and is known within the psychology circles as "Getting a wild hare up your butt".) I have taken the trouble to map out the main areas of the rabbit brain below, illustrating the behavior produced when a given area is stimulated by an alpha particle strike.
As you can see, the areas for some activities are much larger than others. Consequently, a rabbit spends much more of its time engaged in these activities than others because the chance of an alpha strike is higher for the larger brain areas. This can actually be used to the home-owners advantage. For instance, suppose you hear someone trying to break into your house. As a measure of self defense, you can point the rabbit's butt at the intruder, and repeatedly stimulate area 6 of the brain. The result is something like a fully-automatic rabbit-turd gun, which will effectively repel most attacks.
See our new bunny, Thumper, here.
Here are some other bunny links:
House Rabbit Society
Bunny Heaven
The Rabbit
Habit
Paulson's Rabbit World
The American
Rabbit Breeders Association
PetBunny
Rabbit Language
The Bunny Thymes
UK Rabbit WWW Page
The Rabbit Web
Bunnies
and the Rainbow Bridge Page
Bunny Bytes
The Interactive
Bunny Book
Southern
Tier Rabbit Care Network
The Animal Network
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Last updated 07/06/98.